The Trouble with Christmas Lists


It’s unanimous: I am an absolute pain to shop for. The latest ballot cast on this subject came from my darling girlfriend who opined that not only me, but also any NYC handyman or service provider is near impossible to shop for. I inquired as to how she came to this conclusion and her reason is something I find slight fault in: “You can fix things and you purposefully don’t own that much.”  

What’s my main complaint? This completely dismisses more experiential options, such as a dinner at a nice restaurant or a weekend romp up to Vermont, just for examples. But at the end of the day, my girlfriend has a point: at the end of the day, Id rather be home with her, in pajama pants, eating pizza and watching a recorded TCM movie than get dolled up to try yet another pretty good sushi place that got a good review in Time Out. I find it unlikely that you’d find a NYC handyman with an opinion that differs sharply from that.


Still, she’s big on forcing me into new experiences, which I’m grateful for, and just today, she suggested two things that I can’t say I’d be sad to receive: a day at a spa or quarterly maid service for one year. (She also suggested a gym membership, but I told her quite openly that I already have one gym membership that is barely used and am in no need for a second one.) I am, admittedly, leaning towards the maid service, seeing as I have never really had a “spa treatment” and am somewhat dubious as to whether I will enjoy it in the least. On the other hand, with the exception of my kitchen and bathroom, I am a bit of a compulsive organizer and cleaner, a trait I believe I get from my father.

Of course, this is omitting the obvious truth: I don’t really need much of anything at this point in my life and am happy with how everything is going right now. So, sure, sometime in January, I will return home and my stove top will no longer have those small specks of dried tomato soup will be gone and the tiles of my shower will look whiter than my bicuspids have ever been and, subsequently, I won’t feel like I’m bathing in germs. But at the end of the day, if my gift was a day off with a few good movies and some time on my Nintendo, I’d be genuinely content. And I suppose that does make me a pain to shop for.