How do you know when you're already picking on a subordinate?
Is it measured by how easy it ticks you when she doesn't follow work guidelines, and being the person of authority, you won't hesitate sending her electronic letters - with the director included in the address field - to point out the mistakes only she at work commits?
Does it show when you add your voice to the growing chorus of complaints, when other colleagues express their strong dislike for this colleague? And because you know some stuff that are seen as too trivial to talk about, you share these observations to further pin the person down?
And should you be alarmed that you spend part of your waking days thinking what sanctions to impose because the erring colleague continues to ignore your e-mails? There are times you thought of blocking her access to the accounts, to force her to explain in a separate e-mail why she continues to commit mistakes you have told her not to repeat again.
So you may assert your dominance: Impose your order and punish those who refuse to tow the line.
I have always recognized my penchant for holding grudges, and showing my contempt for people I dislike. When a person rubs me the wrong way or when I get fed up being someone's lackey, I would be more than happy to kick that person out of my life.
And then the fall-out is followed by a permanent non-speak - like the person who used to have relations with me is a total stranger. I may no longer harbor anger or hatred. Simply put into context, I no longer wish to have any ties - no matter how deep our bonds were.
While my social fault lines can screw my treatment of acquaintances, it must never get in the way of profession. I cannot play favorites, grill a subordinate without leaving a breather, or pin someone down until her perception of work becomes a burden. Because of this, I am trying my best to be aware of my leanings, and if possible, make compassionate adjustments before I find myself becoming the person who used to occupy my seat.
For I used to be the one who is being picked on. Unable to stand my ground, not even raising a howl even when I found myself being embarrassed in front of others, the least I could do is to spare others from the suffering I have been through.
This way, the cycle of malevolence finally ends with me.