The Great Soul Searching | First Part





Facebook shout-out says  "it takes balls to admit that you are scared too."  There is no point in hiding and as the months fall like leaves from an old tree, the truth becomes more of a burden to keep:  help is not coming. The only choice is to swim.

Two accounts have pulled out from our company yesterday.  You can see the disappointment in the eyes of everyone. In the way they walked alone to the elevator or stare at the computer screens with emptiness in their hearts, the overwhelming sadness was there.   People seldom talk these days, or if they do, they speak with broken words retelling the hardships they endure in life.  Morale is at all time low since the retrenchment last June. Promises of a better pay never came despite the illusion of a turnaround a month after the forced banishment.

The account I handle does not earn.  This is what the boss has spelled out during our last management meeting. We cannot pressure the client to come up with more job orders since advertisements are handled by another company.  If volume surges unexpectedly, we do not have the manpower to keep up with the demand.  The client used to instruct all sorts of alterations to the way we do our job. These days, they whimper every time we call to ask when work will come in.

Our agents used to be the cream of the crop. They enjoyed privileges believing they were a source of pride to the company.  Now there are plans to take away the last perks these people enjoy. "There is no choice," the boss confessed.  "Either we fold up or make some adjustments."  I understood the situation and kept a mum about the changes. But when word spreads, expect a round of attrition and some gnashing of teeth from those who will be affected.

"If you are free later, please come. I will introduce you to someone."  I said to an agent who was booted out today.  "Please bring your resume so they can process your application."

"Take that job offer if you must."  I told another agent. She was plying her resume in another company , also today.  "Kahit graveyard patusin mo na..."  If only I could tell the coming changes. Once she finds out, it would drive her to the pits of depression again.

They say the captain swims last when the boat sinks. I would like to believe in such noble idea but the more I begin to think of responsibilities - at home - the more I am tempted to break free of the cycle.  Someone had set me up with a meeting this evening.  The job being offered is quite familiar and the pay is even better than what I am getting.  There is even a company laptop and an HMO to employees to be given away.

The offer is very interesting.

And as if fate has yet to be satisfied with the wager, it threw another dice leaving me more uncertain with the final decision: Mom gave the green light. Negotiations for a smooth transition will be discussed during this evening's meeting. Nobody is aware at work, nor I have the intentions of announcing my resignation yet. But for some strange reasons, the boss may have read my mind and has decided to give me a new assignment.

"I want you to monitor the quality of our agents when changes finally take place." He began.  "Since your other colleague has left, expect a new adjustment to your salary next month."