LIFE: party in the u.s.a

my dress: Jean Paul Gaultier [maille femme]  jacket: Proenza Schouler (sampel sale find)

Images: last night's photo diary. It was Joe's last night visiting me so we partied to take our minds off of the sad realization that he was going away. In the words of Jane Austin "New York is so diverting, there is so much to entertain". Yet our choice of entertainment was an easy one with the suggestion of the Jane Hotel Ballroom (in the west village) from my friend El (blue jacket) and the approval of so many online reviewer. We had a ball, this review from yelp.com was right on the money "The DJ played an amazing set of old and new goodies that have everyone eventually dancing for the rest of the night. Who is everyone? All under 25 year old thin models and their boyfriends (or gay boyfriends). We were the old locals and apparently it's kind of hard to get into The Jane unless you are 5'9'' and thin, or a local. Thankfully, we two completed both those descriptions. "

The Countdown Begins

In fourteen days, the partner leaves for Canada. He will stay there for three months to attend the job training required at work. "Three months is just a blink of an eye," he always tells me. "I'd be back, long before you start counting."

I remember a time when I used to discourage him from switching jobs. It was a subtle move for I was unsure  how things would shape up.  The agreement between him and his new employer still had a lot of ironing to do, and besides, we were not certain how the transition from office to home-based work would affect his performance. But more than anything else, it was his possible deployment overseas that worried me.  

Long distance relationship was out of my vocabulary.

I was able to overcome these hesitations, eventually, and began to see how the partner enjoys his present company. Not only is he able to sneak out without the knowledge of his bosses, he can do his tasks at his own pace. For this reason, I began to see the rewards of his career move. Even when the day he met the travel agent came, I was convinced of his direction.

Until he told me that his schedule of departure was finally announced.

I was on my way home after watching Harry Potter with the partner when he sent me the text message. The news was like a brush of cold air on my face and a jab on my chest. It took me some time before I was able to absorb the turn of events.

But leaving the country for training will happen eventually and I should be there to support him. No matter how I boldly pronounced in the past that I won't settle for anything remote, distant, or even overseas arrangement, the attachment is already there. Love proves much stronger especially when you're already nine months together.       

The partner has already entrusted my care to the group, while my plans to change my sleeping pattern to reflect his is already under way. Despite his continuous prodding that I should go out even when he's not around, I haven't made up my mind yet. It's not easy to set sail on your own when you have depended on someone's rudder all the time.



As I end this month's final blog entry, I begin to see myself not as a satellite orbiting a world anymore. Not with that mindset. Instead,  I see us as two worlds drawn together by our own gravity. But now that my binary planet has to make his own journey around our sun, I will have to stay in alignment. There's no letting go, no planetship to chase the beloved. Because once we have completed our individual journeys, we would find ourselves back in our sweet spot.

image from the movie, another earth

For now, it is our sun's gravity that would pull us close. Memories intact, the star ensures our cosmic union stays unbroken.     

ACCESSORIES: gold bracelets

my top: Zara, skirt: Ashley Stewart

Got these bracelets at a flea market in Chelsea, I love how completely versatile they are. I'am able to wear them in so many ways, my favorite is tangled together or on separate wrists.

Cookbooks for Cheaters

Ok, I admit it - I'm not that great a cook. I still need cookbooks! I'm not on Top Chef where they make everything off the top of their heads - how do they DO that?  (Many hours in the kitchen, encyclopedic memory, experience tasting all kinds of cuisines, ability to think creatively under pressure, no problem!)

So how do we amateurs decide which cookbook to use?

You can buy one on impulse and perhaps suffer buyer's remorse or, how about this? Borrow it from our Library.

It's kind of like speed dating: you flip through the book quickly at the store and are smitten with a few eyecatching recipes, so you want to take it out for a first date. (This is where the Library comes in.) Check it out here (or place a hold on it,) take it home and cook a few recipes from it. If you absolutely love it and can't bear to give it up, then commit and buy it. Happily ever after!

If the book's not all you hoped, just know that it will be available from the Library if you ever want to take it out again.

For example, here are some cookbooks I love but don't want to buy (and that our Library owns):

All books by Ina Garten, the Barefoot Contessa:

the original Barefoot Contessa Cookbook and the others -

BC Parties, BC Family Style, BC in Paris, BC at Home, BC Back to Basics, BC How Easy is That?

Each cookbook is lovely, but to me doesn't have enough recipes to justify the price of the book. 

Ina's latest book, How Easy is That, aptly titled,  has some recipes that are so simple they almost don't qualify as recipes.  For example, Roasted Figs - Wrap halved figs with prosciutto, brush with olive oil, and bake at 425 for 10 minutes.  Friends tried it this past weekend:  warm, sweet/salty and delicious, but do you really need a recipe for that, or is it just directions?  

My daughter and I also made the Crostini with Tuna Tapenade, this one was outstanding, with the whole being more than the sum of the parts - lemony and flavorful with kalamata olives.  (Note - you could sub out the mascarpone cheese with either cream cheese or sour cream so you don't have to purchase 1/3 cup of expensive mascarpone.)  Tuna and Hummus Sandwiches -  also good,  but just use good Italian tuna and a mustard vinaigrette with purchased hummus, serve them open faced on a toasted baguette and you're done.  Don't need the cookbook.

A few weeks back, we tried the Watermelon and Arugula Salad.  Savory watermelon salads are all the rage right now, and this one was good, not great.  The best one I've made is a watermelon, tomato and kalamata olive salad but not sure where that recipe is right now.  (I'll look it up! - said the Reference Librarian)

Also tried the Roasted Eggplant Caponata, which was very good, but I actually like Roasted Eggplant Spread from the Barefoot Contessa Family Style  better and it was easier too - just roast everything in the oven and process.

These books are certainly attractive, photos styled simply but beautifully, and the recipes are really very good and perfect for summer entertaining and enjoying.  Hope you come to our Library and take out these or other cookbooks, and let me know what you've made, good, bad or indifferent!

NOVELTY: Joe's new printed matter

My graphic designer BF gravitated to this Proenza Schouler towel like metal to magnet. Being a guy (& non-fashion enthusiast) he could care less that is was Proenza. He just really admired the print - not to mention that it was the perfect size.

The Wall

To be honest, I haven't recovered yet from the mental shock I received two weeks ago. As to what it is, I'd leave the events a mystery until the dust finally settles. I've learned from it and have accepted my failures as they are.  I also vow not to let others suffer the same fate, guilt, or even humiliation and leave the poor person without an inch of faith in himself.  Meanwhile, I left this message on my Facebook wall to remind myself, and those who will get to read it that sometimes, kind words inspire people to do great things beyond everyone's expectations:

Many people tend to forget that sometimes, excellence comes when there are those who trust you, encourage you, make you feel that you can move mountains and sincerely appreciate your efforts. One thing I've learned lately is to praise people, make them feel that their accomplishments are big - not minding if its really small or ordinary - so that they'd always have faith in what they can achieve.

The world is full of hatred and deception. I too have stumbled many times over. But it doesn't matter, it is what makes us human. What's important is that despite hitting the ground, face-first, we are able to stand up and walk closer towards the right path.

Musings on Maine

Maine: a Novel by J. Courtney Sullivan

Picture yourself sitting on the porch of your family’s ocean side cottage, no neighbors in sight, enjoying the tranquility of Maine in the summer. Sounds perfect, right? Add in an extended Irish Catholic family with a domineering matriarch and before you know it perhaps those family trips to Maine aren’t quite as perfect as you imagined. This excellent novel follows the Kelleher family on its annual trips to Maine complete with all the family baggage, secrets, and drama. Chapters are told from the perspective of four complex women encompassing three generations and all very different. Highly recommended — I didn’t want this book to end!

LIFE: Proenza Schouler sample sale

Dragged Joe (my bf -who is in town visiting) along with me. Lets just say he was one of the only the two males in line that I saw. We awoke at 6:30, the doors were scheduled to open at 9:00. When we arrived, about 35 people were in front of us, 20 minutes latter (after everyone let their friends jump the line) there was about 50 something. Doors opened around 9:15 and we were of the second group to enter. Lot of beautiful finds will show you what I got soon.

Bookmyne

If you are among the 59% of adults who now access the Internet wirelessly using a laptop or cell phone (“Mobile Access 2010” Pew Research Center) library apps should be on your desktop.

Today’s featured app is Bookmyne. This app lets you search for books, get book suggestions and check your account. You can also place holds on books that are checked out or renew the books that you have.



Once you download this from the App Store you need to pick South Brunswick Public Library as your library. You may have to do this more than once before the app will save your library. Your username and password will be the same one you currently use to login to your library account.



For answers to frequently asked questions and for links to Bookmyne tutorials go to http://www.sirsidynix.com/products/bookmyne/support .



For non-iPhone and iPad users, you can search for books and access your account from the library’s web page www.sbpl.info . Just click inside the Search the Catalog box and type in the title of the book you want to find, then; click on the Search button. When you have your book results you can login in the upper right-hand corner of the page. This way you can check your account, place holds and renew books.



Check Our Library Blog every Wednesday for more suggestions for online library gems. Future postings will talk about free e-books and audio books, free access to magazines and newspapers and more.

Musa

Been writing children's stories for Bentusi since last year. So far, this is my most rewarding project with her. And since I'm allowed to pick names for my characters, I decided to use my partner's name hoping it gets published too, and be read by children everywhere.

This is for you Baabaa.



In a fruits basket were several different fruits. They were freshly bought from the supermarket to help JC have a more balanced diet

JC the Notthewimpykid hasn't eaten fresh fruits in months. Thinking that he could get away with little bits of beans and carrots on his plate, he thought he could enjoy the sweetened snacks that look and taste like real fruits.

While waiting to be peeled and eaten, the fruits began talking among themselves.

“I wonder who among us will be JC's favorite,” the banana asks.

“Well, I might be sour and my seeds taste bitter when accidentally eaten, but JC sees me every time he drinks juice.“ The orange muses. “Besides, I'm rich in fibers and vitamin C. These will help him fight those viruses.”

“I can make JC's wounds heal faster!” The pineapple's voice booms. “A boy as active as him in sports and outdoor activities needs me!”

“He needs my minerals too!” It was the banana's turn to speak. “Not only I am soft to chew, I prevent JC from having muscle cramps, especially when he plays all day!”

The apple, feeling a bit shy after remembering the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs refused to talk. Instead, it was the mango who spoke on her behalf.

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away!” The mango cuts the conversation. “My friend, the apple is very nutritious!”

“Tell us what you got,” the orange asks.

“Yes, we're eager to learn.” the banana follows.

“Well, I make bones stronger and prevent children's asthma from happening,” tells the apple. The other fruits were amazed.

Feeling better about her qualities, it was the apple's turn to introduce her friend, the mango. While she knows that they are needed to keep JC healthy, the mango has nutritional benefits that could aid the boy in school.

“My best friend, the mango can help JC concentrate better in school.” the other fruits turned to the apple to hear more. “His vitamin B will improve his memory while keeping his cells active.”

Upon learning that the fruits will be eaten anyway, they stopped thinking who among them will be the boy's favorite. They waited in the fruits basket to be digested. Every night after dinner, one of them disappeared.

First was the banana, peeled and eaten as a whole. The next day, JC never felt tired playing tag after school.

Next was the pineapple, made into chunks and eaten as dessert. Soon JC’s cuts and bruises from playing tag healed.

Then came the orange’s turn. JC missed eating its bitter seeds and he was shielded from colds and coughs.

Finally there were two fruits in the basket, the mango and the apple. Both of them have been friends the whole week and it’s time to go.

“I hope my seed gets planted.” The mango said.

“I wish so too,” the apple confided. “Mine will never grow in this climate.”

“Don’t worry my friend. You will always be known as the first fruit in the alphabet.” The apple blushed, turning her skin redder.

Like the other fruits that were eaten before, the apple became JC’s snack. As for the mango, his sweet flesh was scooped out using a spoon just before the exams. Since the Notthewimpykid prepared for the tests, the mango did its job of helping the boy remember the things he studied.

The fruits basket was replenished a week later and they were all eaten as well. The story didn’t end there however. In JC’s little backyard, a new plant sprouted on the ground. It had light green leaves, and had the scent of one of the fruits in the fruits basket.

“Hello!” The tiny stem said.

It was the mango.

Y' Media

Minsan ay sumusuko rin pala ang utak. Sa halip na ganahan magsulat, ang focus ay madaling mawala sumaglit lang ang mga bagay na gumugulo sa aking diwa. Minsan naman ay nasa gitna ka na ng iyong rumination, (habang nagblo-blog) pero dahil sa isang maling salita, sa maling placement ng idea, at sa kagustuhan mong i-flesh out ang mga detalye habang nagse-self edit nang hindi pa tapos ang iyong entry, biglang nawawalang parang bula ang mga nais mong sabihin.

Gaya ngayon, ang dami-dami kong gusto isulat, ngunit magsisimula pa lang ako't bigla kong maiisip, "puro sulat na lang, wala naman akong natatapos."  Just the same, heto at nag-aattempt pa rin ako ulit. Baka naman matapos kong mag word-vomit ay may patutunguhan rin ang entry na Y' Media.  The problem lies not with the idea. There's always something to write. The challenge is how to lay down your thoughts the way you would like it to be read.

Sa ilang sandali na lang ay tapos na ang shift. I didn't know my accomplishments at work, pero siguro naman, praising my team for doing a good job should be enough. I was able to finish two articles for Bentusi and earned extra money for it, pero hindi pa rin ako satisfied. Maybe because when she mentioned the new editor was super strict, may bigla akong naalala.

Traumatized pa rin ako matapos ang mga kaganapan nung isang linggo.

Schedule ng gym ko today, pero parang tinatamad akong mag-work out. I still need to finish several raketship articles para may extra pera, pero trip ko ang matulog. I have to accompany mom to check her pension details tomorrow pero dahil sa hapon iyon mangyayari, parang nakakatamad rin lumakad.

Nasanay kasi akong si Baabaa ang kasama ko tuwing palubog ang araw.

I'd try not to sugarcoat this entry. Hope it doesn't come out as a rant. I ate oatmeal for the nth time for dinner but I stay flab pa rin. I added my colleague sa Twitter account after learning he reads my timeline. I hope this exposure would demystify me at work. I was invited to a no-holds barred meeting when I return on Thursday but I don't know how to deliver my piece.

It's 2 minutes before 10. I have nothing more to say and I'm quite satisfied with this entry. Maybe just a little rest, a clarity walk while listening to club music going to Eclipse, a sumptuous meal of Kowloon Siopao, which I expect when I get home tonight. An hour's workout  and a little recollection of good things that happened to me today and I would be okay.

Lately, I'm seeing my personal life as a clutter. Perhaps, a change of outlook would return things in order.

A Great Option for a Weekend Getaway

There are miles and miles of waterfront on the Chesapeake Bay (more than 11,000 miles to be more precise) and most of the Eastern Shore (of the bay, that is, which is actually on the west side of the Delmarva Peninsula) is no more than 3-4 hours drive from central New Jersey. There are dozens of picturesque maritime towns and villages all along the bay that trace their origins all the way back to Colonial America. The activities you can find in the area range from boating, kayaking, canoeing, swimming, fishing, golf, tennis, bicycling, hiking, shopping, museum hopping, dining and just plain relaxing. And the best way to get close to the water is to find a bed and breakfast in one of the quaint costal communities. One such community that my husband and I visited this past weekend was St. Michael’s Maryland. This charming community boasts some great shopping and dining, the wonderful Chesapeake Bay Maritime Museum that includes an example of one of the bay’s “screw pile” type lighthouses and a number of very comfortable bed and breakfasts. There are some that are inn type establishments right in the downtown area and there are some that are in homes in the community, often with a waterfront view. The one that we stayed in is run by an ex-New Jersey resident who has converted two bedrooms in her family’s summer home into a very cozy retreat with a waterfront view of the town of St. Michaels and the maritime museum across the Miles River basin. The B&B is called Point Breeze and the owner offers free use of kayaks, canoes and bicycles for the guests to use to explore the town. The breakfasts are scrumptious, served on a lovely screened veranda overlooking the water. The owner will gladly arrange a cruise on one of the sail or steam boats that tour the bay or make you a reservation at one of the area’s fine seafood restaurants. The area is known for crab, prepared in just about any way you can imagine. The Eastern Shore is also known for its many art events and galleries. We went this past weekend to attend the Plein-Air Competition and Arts Festival in Easton, the town that lies at the head of the of peninsula where St. Michaels is located which ends at scenic Tilghman Island. If you want to read a great account of what the area is all about before you go or if you are just an armchair traveler, there is no better choice than James Michener’s bestseller Chesapeake.

Sigil

When I look at the picture, I see a circle. A hastily drawn ellipse using a paintbrush and a black ink. One look and you can spot the imperfections. The arc distorts as the curve approaches the base, its roundness broken by a small gap at the bottom. While our eyes are trained to see enclosed round objects, this one is open for anything to fill the hollow center.

Orbiter

The enlightened ones have a name for this - enso - the circle of enlightenment. Followers of zen philosophy see the circle as a vast space that lacks nothing and nothing in excess. It alludes to the beginning and end of things and the continuity of life and existence.

Enso means so many things to different people. I may not be a Buddhist, much less, a zen believer but the broken circle has this sublimity that instantly caught my attention. Using Microsoft Paint to create the blue strokes at the center, I found meaning in my own enso. It has become something only I could truly appreciate.  

I will leave the interpretation to others in hopes that they too may find epiphany. What I saw as I contemplate for its meaning are worlds, man-made cosmic objects and even daybreak moments. Meanwhile, the pictograph will become my favicon. It is to remind myself of everything this personal space stands for and why this place should never be neglected.

Even when at times it seem the increasingly longer dry spells leave me wordless.

Reading Opens Doors to Travel

July 25, 2011

While reading can be an imaginative escape for me it has more often than not become an open door to real destinations. And so it is fitting that the 2011 Summer Reading theme is about travel and experiencing other cultures in the world.

This past weekend my family and I visited Chincoteague and Assateague Islands in Virginia where wild ponies have been protected in a National Wildlife Refuge for more than 100 years. One wild pony in particular became well known after author Marguerite Henry wrote the children’s book Misty of Chincoteague in 1947 at Miss Molly’s Inn there. Just up the street at the Island Roxy Movie Theater you can still see Misty’s hoof prints in the front sidewalk. Misty actually attended the book’s 1962 movie premiere.

Like a lot of little girls in the 1960s I remember reading about Misty and the other wild ponies that live on the islands. I dreamed of visiting one day and many years later shared my love of the story with my children.

Hundreds of tourists still flock to see the home of Misty and the subsequent generations of wild ponies that continue to live there and take the annual swim to auction every July.

At the same time I was living my “Misty” experience I sat on the beach and read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and “walked” through yet another door, this time it led me to Sweden. I have never been there but the story (which is set in Sweden) gave me some glimpses of Swedish culture I had not “seen” before, such as typical lunch fare being herring and pickle sandwiches!

But before I start planning any trips to Sweden I am hoping to visit the Missouri home of another popular author from my childhood, Laura Ingall’s Wilder. I am keeping a list.

While books can lead to travels, travels can lead to books. I recently read At the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolfe because of a trip I am planning to Cornwall, England. I had learned that the legendary author had spent her childhood summers here and had written this book as a semi-autobiographical account of one such summer. My plans prompted an opportunity to experience a well-known author I had not read before and to learn more about my destination. I also picked up an interesting French recipe from the book and plan to give that a try just for fun.

Some people might see reading as a passive activity, but for the curious mind it can be anything but passive.

Stop by the library and open your own doors to the world around you!

-30-

DIY: handbag handle

I love my ostrich skin shoulder bag, it's only problem is that the handle was a little too short; it fell a little too high above my hip. Found this long chain a while back at an estate sale, saw it laying around one day and got the bright idea to replace the strap. Now I think that it looks more modern, not to mention the perfect new length. 

Cool Cookbook for a Hot Day

'wichcraft is a fantastic cookbook of 'just' sandwiches. Tom Colicchio, head judge on Top Chef as well as owner of numerous restaurants, is the author of this cookbook which takes sandwiches to a whole new level. Try the Cheddar with Smoked Ham, Poached Pear and Mustard for example. Ham and cheddar - yawn! - but add the poached pear, dijon mustard and put it on cranberry pecan bread, and it's a wow! Each sandwich recipe is composed of several elements, which can all be done from scratch, BUT don't have to be. You can cheat and substitute or buy prepared ingredients and you will have the blueprint to make some easy and truly gourmet combinations.

There are some good basic ideas here too, such as how to poach a chicken breast so it stays moist and delicious. Each recipe faces its photo making this a fun browsing book too.

Colicchio takes such care in fashioning his food and his recipes that even the humble BLT merits a description of just how to build the sandwich (toast the country bread on one side, put the toasted side IN) to make it the best of its kind. Of course you are using heirloom tomatoes, and thick cut bacon, but hey, do you want to make a great sandwich or not?

I made about 15 of the recipes from 'wichcraft, and each one has been special in some way. OK, so the guys didn't absolutely love the Raw Yellow Beets with Avocado and Grapefruit Sandwich, but the women in my group did. And the Roasted Turkey with Onion Marmalade was universally enjoyed, as were the Tuna and Roasted Tomato Melt as well as the Red Wine Braised Steak with Gruyere.

There are even dessert sandwiches. For my son who loves banana bread, I made the Banana Bread Sandwich with Caramel Ice Cream (I purchased Dulce de Leche ice cream) and Pecan Brittle. A-maze-ing!

The library has some great new cookbooks, and I highly recommend this one. Let me know if you've seen Tom Colicchio, have tried any of his recipes or restaurants, and what you think.

President FPJ

"Da King for President"

It was the banner in my dad's tabloid the day Fernando Poe Jr. ran for public office. It had the blessings of my father, as well as my teacher, Lito Zulueta. It was a gamble. Gloria was at the height of power, and being a tabloid known for its images of young ladies in varying state of nakedness, the display of political allegiance might get us the wrong attention.

Seldom do I take charge of the editorial department. Usually, I leave it to my dad to decide on the paper's direction.  But since my dad was a Poe supporter and I was beginning to turn against the current president, the timing of my intervention was most welcome. I've even came up with the perfect headline to mark the occasion.

Permission was granted without much discussion and the paper showed its shade of color. For standing with the opposition candidate, it sold like hotcakes the next day and the sales we posted was among the highest that summer.



The tabloid covered the campaign trail of FPJ during the entire election season. We were the only major paper foolish enough to pin our hopes with the veteran actor. Poe, in return acknowledged our support. The access we got was more exclusive and personal than the big media covering his campaign.

Cash strapped, even his posters ran out sometimes. This is why we didn't get any money or advertisement even from his candidates. What we had was his goodwill, as well as the best-kept stories about the man everyone thought was tight-lipped and withdrawn from the spotlight. I was even told our photographers and reporters always get to shake the hands of  Da King when his sorties arrive at their beat.

They were even treated as part of his extended family.

In a world where talk is cheap and money is everything, we stood by FPJ's side and tried to earn what little we get from his supporters. What took us by surprise was the brisk sales of the paper. Whenever we ran a news article about Da King. No matter how trivial it was, the  masa simply bought it.




The rest will be left for history to judge.

As we all know, FPJ was defeated by over a million votes. And for the first time, the nation heard the legend spoke - in Davao - to raise his bitter objections after he was cheated in the elections. His plea fell on deaf ears as his rival was proclaimed the winner.  Soon, he disappeared from the spotlight and in one year, Da King will pass away after his nerve was ruptured while packing unmarked relief goods bound for Quezon.

In death, the lingering questions about his defeat would remain unanswered. Many will even forget as they went on with their lives.

Until today.



Back then, I saw things in a business perspective. While not really an FPJ supporter, (I was too lazy to register, I ended up being a non-voter)  I was part of his machinery. People close to me looked down at him as someone better off as an actor. They say an uneducated, inexperienced person has no business in politics.

To which I somehow agreed.  For this reason, they never knew who I really worked for.

But what the people really don't know is that FPJ was a man of principle. My dad once said he declined cash donations especially when he knows it was tainted with favors.  He was too proud to play politics even when the need arises. He even declined interviews and even kept a mum about his accomplishments for reasons only he knew.

And for that he paid the ultimate price.



At a hindsight, I still wonder what would have been if Da King became the President. What would the things he say during his SONAs. How will the economy fare in the hands of a president who never had experience running a bureaucracy? Would the country see less perversities like the one we had seen in the last six years? Would he free his buddy, the man accused of plunder, as everyone predicted he plans to do? What would the gamble make of our business?

Would the windfall allow my dad to recover and not die a pauper?

While these thoughts defy imagination, speculations abound as to what really took place. Were the votes padded in Mindanao in favor of one candidate?  Did massive cheating stole what is rightfully for Da King?  We would never know the answers unless the government of PNoy commits itself to finding the truth.  But as for someone who still believes there is justice in this world - whether divine or earthly - everyone will have to account for their past actions.

There is no escape

And though Da King never saw the day he sits as the head of Malacanang, for someone whose kindness and humility has touched so many lives, his bid to power must never be forgotten. My hope is for the government to recognize Fernando Poe as the man, who went out of his stage character to become more lifelike, and stood up for all of us to see the light.




A friend of mine, a musician personally testified to the simplicity of the man.  In the 1970s, he recounted, FPJ bought a recording studio from Jose Mari Gonzalez to bail him out of dire straits, but didn't quite know what to do with it.  So he got musicians to run the place, my friend among them.  On occasion, he said, FPJ would drop by at night, beer in hand, and say, "Erap (he called everybody erap), pwede ba kong umistambay dito?"  Of course he didn't mind, my friend recalled laughing, it was his place. FPJ, my friend said, would look over his shoulders -- my friend would be making arrangements and preparing accompaniments to songs in a musical variety show -- which made him a little nervous.  After a couple of hours, FPJ would shake his head and say, "That is all very complicated to me, you guys are geniuses." Then he would take his leave, "Mauna na ko, erap," and sneak out quietly.




Conrado De Quiros
Touch of Class
There's the Rub

The Classroom

Before prose, poetry was my companion.

Poem Book Six
The Dark Side of Light
Junior Year, Arts and Letters, 2001



With undulating voice
he speaks in a podium
of unsustained secrecy.
By word of mouth,
all rumours about the
innocent blackboard
travels at the speed of light,
carried by chalkdust into
endless space,
becoming tiny bits of
remembrance scattered
yet linked together by
a bond stronger than
the nuts and bolts
that hold the chairs together.
In a room
whose four walls
speak of partings,
of unshakable bondage
that is meant to shatter
someday.
The crucifix hangs dearly
to the wooden wall
as every vibration produced
resonates an earthly tone
that reminds us of changeable things,

that reminds us of fleeting moments
never to happen again.

I was at the University of Santo Tomas this afternoon to get my transcript of records. Little has changed inside the Main Building: The 30-inch flat screen TV where we used to watch the UAAP Games stays suspended in the ceiling.  The wooden imperial staircase going to the museum and the second floor keeps its luster despite the hundreds of footsteps treading its centuries-old planks and the classrooms, though modest by standards are still fed by chilly winds from the AC units.


It's like I never left at all. 


Meanwhile, glancing at the kids as they go on with their carefree lives remind me that once, I too enjoyed their bliss.

Hope that in my time, I was able to drink my fill.  For a moment in their presence earlier, my soul was parched.

Baby Lenin Moments

Just last week:

"Alam mo ba yang si Baby Lenin, nakikitawag sayo nung tinatawag kita."

My mom said.

"Sabi ko, 'Jaaaay!  Jaaaaaaay!' Siya naman 'Eeeehhhh,  Eeeeeeeehhhhh'"

Just before he goes to sleep, tonight.

"Ano nga ulit pangalan ko?"

"Eehh?"  My 8-month old nephew seems doubtful of his answer. Just the same, the acknowledgement has put a smile on my face.

Many parents claim that their first born's first words are either Mama, Papa or Lola.  

For Lenin, its different. His parents insists on being called Nanay and Tatay and the two-syllable sound might be too complex for a baby. Meanwhile, with the boy getting used to being carried around - in my arms, being tossed in the air - to his delight, and even being lullabied to sleep when he was a bit younger, his first word was not his parents. 

Blessed with a one-syllable name. 

It's  

Ehh.  

Ten Thousand Five Hundred

That's the number of words I have to come up for my office sideline.

Blame it  for my past slacking, but the deliverables I failed to turn over last week all had to be submitted in one drop. Spread out in 21 articles, the 10,500 words would  have to cover topics about romance, dating and online relationship. I had to become a love coach without sounding much like the authors who wrote about  the same subject on the Internet.

I was under pressure to produce the necessary copies, that's why I had to stop writing new entries. The slacking had almost cost me this project and admitting my incompetence rubbed salt to my wounded ego. You see, in almost a year I've been working with Bentusi, these things never happened. Either the instructions were not clear, or my manager failed to make me realize the urgency of this project.

Given a chance to correct my errors, I wasted no time in writing my first draft. The letter containing the official instructions was sent last Tuesday.  The manager said that everything must be done by Monday at 8 pm. In order to catch up and beat the deadline, I had to break my comfort zone.  I had to give up my free time and lend my sleep to dreaming about dating websites and relationship epic fails.

From 1,000 words a day in Bentusi's time, I have now to write 4 articles containing no less than 2,000 words. I would start in the afternoon and end my writing stint at past midnight. The repetitive nature of my job was so sickening,  sometimes I feel my words coming out of assembly lines rather than mind-crafted, when it takes form here in my blog.

Close to the pangs of disillusionment, I wonder, is this what SEO is all about?  

Between the puerile rantings and the hollow silence that comes after quick-revising an article, I lurched forward to complete my task. Slowly I was getting there - sometimes with only the partner to cheer me up. Having a one-track mind helped me focus despite the occasional down moments when the end seems so far and the work continues to pile up.

After all, there's a floor to look after aside from doing this project.

One by one, the items get crossed out from the list. An article done brings me closer to my goal. Subverting the feeling of fatigue, the temptation of procrastination,  the corruption of plagiarism, only one thing stuck in my head:

Redemption.  

It was three hours before the deadline when I began writing my last article. Lack of sleep, a cluttered head and a dazed spirit may have slowed me down, but the drive was there to finish what I started. Fifteen minutes before 8 and it was over. Without the fanfare announcing a victor, a simple acknowledgement of completion from the one who instructed the task, lacking all ceremonies for a feat broken,

A million cheers burst inside my chest.

Meanwhile, the room where the final article was penned remains hollow and empty, as it has become nowadays.

OUTFIT: Alex Wang dress

Hanging with my friends is always a blast, but today felt more special because I'm wearing one of my favorite dresses, it's from the Alexander Wang SS 2011 collection...eekk. I felt beautiful all day in it. My friend Recho took me to the A.Wang boutique in soho for the first time, it was beyond beautiful. Also finally went to see Harry Potter (!!!) with my friend Malorie. I love all the books and am sad that the movie series are over.

LIFE: special delivery

I've been feeling a little home sick lately. My boyfriend and I have only been apart for about a week before now. To say the least, I miss him. Two weeks ago I asked him to send me a package of a few things that I'd forgotten or left at home, a pair of flats, a dress and to "trow in some candy for good measure...(please)". He took this as an opportunity to be a complete romantic and oh so thoughtful. Yesterday I received my package. I was actually on the phone with him when I walked into the apartment to find it sitting on the bed. "oh my, what could this be?" I began nonchalantly. I opened it excitedly, there was so much candy that it was almost as if he had sent a large box of Skittles and Starburst. " Babe, this is a box of cavities", I giggled.  Upon further examination I discovered my shoes and the dress I'd asked for along with a tube of toothpaste and an extra toothbrush (a way to offset his guilt for having sent me so much candy). This box was filled with many goodies and good laughs. I kept digging to find many more things two gift cards and....." baby, did you see the brown envelope" he questioned. Uhh...no I replied, then I found it sitting on top of everything, clearly the first thing that I was suppose to notice (but in my defense I was distracted by large bags of Starburst). I opened the envelope to find the most beautiful, handmade, hand drawn card I've ever even seen (!!!) Me being overly sentimental, I burst into tears without one more word to him. I mean... he is a graphic designer, this could have all been done on illustrator or something. The amount of time that I imagine he put into this only, cause my tears... initially. I can't reiterate all that it read, but it was beautiful, wholly satisfying. It's no wonder I was homesick, I left the most perfect guy back in Atlanta. I can't wait for him to come and visit so him what he's been missing...in NYC, that is (devilish smile).

 

NOVELTY: oh' Lingerie

 Before I left Atlanta, my friend Steph took me to one of her favorite vintage shops, which happens to sell vintage inspired lingerie. I love all things sheer & seductive so I was quite delighted to learn of the places existence. I bought the cutest bras and breaches as well as this beautiful floor length tulle and lace dress. Stephanie, I must say got away with the best buy of the day: a full finger silver elephant ring that could make the most stylish fashionista drool. I was so envious of her good luck of finding it first.

But yesterday, I found a few underthings at Barneys that I believe would make all of my friends drool, including an elegant and sensual Stella McCartney lace bra that caresses my curves beautifully.

Dead Star's Light (A Repost)

"All of this has happened before and it will happen again..."

Leoben Conoy

Flesh and Bone

Battlestar Galactica (Reimagined)

March 8, 2005

Welcome to the Jomanian Order.

I started working in my dad's company yesterday. It was, after all my responsibility to do so after he died last month. To be honest with you guys, my decision to start yesterday was the most confusing decision I've done in recent years. Half of me says I just want them to be on their own, yet the rest of me says I should stand there to lead those who have remained and have been loyal to the company.

The whole time, I was asking myself if I have been a leader before - or should I say, have I been a good leader before. As far as I know, I've been a nice president back in college, if not an effective one. I simply ruled through a pseudo-federal system where I consult the barkada leaders of our class whenever there is a major decision to make.

You see, I've never really wanted power. I hate being in authority since I've always believed that it's better to have a majority vote rather than overrule everything. At some points, I may have been percieved as someone who has no backbone, who has no balls to show and worst of all, a great escapist. That's what hinders me today, that's why as much as possible, I don't want to commit myself in taking over my father's tattered empire.

On the other hand, people enjoy my leadership because they enjoy the voice I have given them during consultations. I tend to lift up people rather than pull them down to the ground through intrigues and rumor circulating. As far as I know, I've never had enemies whenever I find myself in the top position. Up there, the view is sometimes nauseating.

That is why I always choose to be the second-in-command... always. In groups and in organizations, the job I've always enjoyed a lot was propping up the leaders. Being only the second allows you to have the privacy, protection and security while having a slice of power. Besides, I simply liked being the follower. What I really hated is being on the forefront of everything.

---

By this time, people are starting to look up to me, while I, am already integrating myself to adapt to their system - to change it the way I see fit, and practice my overwhelming desire to have tranquility and order while being in my workplace.

I can already see the overwhelming problems that are about to hack us into pieces, and the worst part of all is that I'm still looking for someone who would at least guarantee me of my own security.

---

That's why I don't understand why people would crave for power, when in fact its much better having just a full security of your own. In my life, I never really wanted responsibility - yet time and again, responsibilities simply follow me.

Sometimes, I just simply wanted to believe that it's my fate to become a leader rather than a follower. No matter how I wanted to have a s1e being on my own, it seems like my fate follows my footsteps.

I don't know what future holds for us, especially now that I feel my life is slowly being integrated back to what was, my role in the company ever since.

I know, I have a lot of shortcomings and weaknesses.

I just hope that I could make things work even through my small advantages.

NOVELTY: something new & something blue

The Escort

I was told two weeks ahead to clear up my Sunday schedule. Mom has been invited to a lunch date by her college friends.  

The weekend was hers. I have nothing else to do anyway.

So off we go to Greenbelt despite not getting enough sleep the night before. An insomnia attack left me wakeful until 5 this morning. Only the promise of a sumptuous meal held my crankiness at bay.

Meeting place is at Contis. Baabaa's birthday treat last December is still fresh in my head.

And here I am, returning, this time to rub elbows with mom's life-long companions.



I can't remember the dish I ordered. Was it Chicken Ballotine or was it the Roulade? Never mind.  The serving was small - like in most high-end restaurants - but it was enough to make the wigglers inside my  tummy very happy.

The meat aftertaste was watered down by bottomless lemonade. And as for dessert, mom received  a box of carrot cake from her friend who is Jacklyn Jose and Cherry Pie Picache's talent manager.

Having a showbiz insider around allows you to have a glimpse behind the intrigues surrounding the local celebrities.

And while most things I've heard were good words - especially for Coco Martin, (who is not only charming but thoughtful as well)  hints were dropped as to why Andi Eigenmann got pregnant or why Maricel Soriano started slapping her maids.

Of course I'm not allowed to share what I've heard, but suffice to say, these people are humans too. Behind the characters they portray on television is a real person with frustrations and dreams.



Feeling  a bit restless and out of place, I decided to take a stroll and check if the Datablitz store at Greenbelt 1 has the Sims 3 add-on pack I've been looking.

Browsing the display racks, I found it.

Fast Lane Stuff.  Check.

I bought the add-on without thinking how it would affect my budget for the next weeks. I'm hoping to snatch some writing projects from Bentusi, but with my attention now focus here after neglecting this blog last month, I doubt if the extra funds will come.  

Returning to Contis, I was hoping the lunch date was about to wrap up. They were, after an hour of reminiscing the old days while keeping tabs of the people not present at the table.

When the bill came, the most well-off  (who is actually my Ninong, whose property is being rented by a gay dance club in Cubao) paid for all the food. This is what I love about these lunch dates with my mom's friends.

Someone will always shoulder the bill. Lol.

But instead of calling it a day, the party decided to move to a cozy coffee shop to continue swapping stories. By then I knew that I'd be spending the rest of the day at Greenbelt - alone, and desperate to come up with my own activity to keep me from getting bored. Meanwhile, mom and her friends can enjoy their coffeetalk elsewhere.

I'm just a companion after all.



But I really wanted to go home. To install in my hard drive the new add-on - or better yet - get some sleep. The next trip to slumberville will be at seven in the morning the next day.

As the elders staggered from one coffee shop to another, I was subtly discouraging them not to go any further.

"Naku nagpunta po kami ni Mama sa Starbucks!"

It was the killjoy in me speaking. After we left the restaurant, Mom and I went ahead to find a toilet for the disabled. The rest had to make a detour at Gourdo's to check the kitchenware offered at discount prices. On our way back, we passed by the coffee shops and they were packed with people.

"Puno na po sa loob."  

Manipulation aside, the feelings of guilt were overwhelming my selfish motives. Yes, I was sleepy. I was itching to play my new game. I could even say that I'm beginning to show my temper knowing that my time is not mine anymore .

But here they are, a group of  senior citizens hobbling from one place to another. Never giving up until they find a coffee shop with a table that could sit around 7 people. Racing against time, beating ahead of the closing days just to enjoy every chance to be together - and reinforcing timeless bonds that stayed solid throughout the ages.

And there I was, stupid enough to take that moment away from my mom.  With reason restored, I backed off.



The slow procession from one end of Greenbelt to another paid off. They found a table at Cafe Breton.  It was a small table - enough - for six people to squeeze their chairs and huddle together. Since we are seven, one must let go.

I volunteered without being asked.

So my mom was left with her friends, while I set course to Pasay Road where the side vendors sell their cigarettes. After finishing a stick, (thank God for nicotine) I crossed the street again and walked towards Greenbelt 5.  It's time to occupy one of the toilet seats on the top floor, for the food I've eaten were ready to come out. When my tummy got better, it was my head that started spinning, I lurched back to Cafe Breton to check on the elders - hoping they've changed their mind.

What I saw were merry folks with still so much catching up to do.

Resigning to the fact that we will be staying way past 4 pm. I left their table to look for a resting spot outside the coffee shop. I settled into one of the slightly wet tables near the arbour. Plugging my earbuds, Jam 88.3's acoustic music lulled me to sleep.

And then it happened. My eyes did shut down. Ignoring the people who might catch me off-guard, I spent a good hour dozing off in my chair. In my dreams, all I could see was my mom laughing - pleased that I gave in to her request to stay, despite my earlier suggestion to go home and leave everyone behind.


    

DESIGN: sheer organza pants in white

I designed these pants the week before I left Atlanta for NYC. Well, not really. I constructed these pants that very week but, they were designed and the fabric was cut about a year prior to my departure. This is my first time wearing them, which is in itself not an easy feat. You have to find the perfect undergarment where as not to show too much skin and appear vulgar. I decided to wear it with other transparent white pieces because I liked the effect of layered opacity. The only problem is that white attracts dirt like a magnet does metal. But I can't worry about that or I'll never leave the house. I just throw caution to the wind and drink Sprite instead of Cola.

Lately I've been dreaming of a white dress so glamorous that it hurts. Hopefully I can sketch, drape and construct it before fashion week so that I can wear it to the shows.

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The Baconator

Ilang araw na tuloy tuloy ang buhos ng ulan. Para sa isang pamilya na isang beses isang linggo kung maglaba, sobrang disadvantage ito, lalo na sa akin na pang-isang lingguhan lang ang mga damit. Hindi rin nakakatulong ang patuloy na paglobo ng bayaw ko. Kaunting lapad pa ng bewang at masusuot na niya ang mga T-shirt, pants at briefs ko.

Nitong mga nakaraang araw ay kapansin-pansin na nabawasan ako ng underwear. Ito ba ay sinungkit, inamoy at pinagpantasyahan ng kapitbahay?

Asa.

Ito ba ay aksidenteng napasama sa mga damit ni brother-in-law at tinatamad lang ibalik sa akin?

Maari.

Hindi kaya sa ilang ulit na ginawa kong basahan at pamunas ng tamod ang mga bacon  (mga briefs na gutay-gutay na ang garter) sabay shoot nito sa basura ay kusa na lang akong nabawasan ng mga isusuot?

Siguro.

As far as I know ay may lima akong pang-ilalim. Dagdag pa dito ang dalawang briefs na malapit nang lumawlaw ang garter at tatlong boxers na sinusuot ko rin pag nasa bahay. Sa mga hindi nakakaalam, trip ko ang mag-commando kapag hindi naman lumalabas.  Isang beses na ako nasabihan noon na felix bakat pero hindi ko yun sineryoso.

Feeling ko naman na unnoticeable si putotoy pag tulog ito.

Malugod ko na sanang tatanggapin na sadyang mahirap lang magpatuyo ng damit ngayon, at karamihan sa mga briefs ko ay nasa sampayan pa. Pero nang maghanap ako kanina ng isusuot na panloob, anumang halukay sa mga plantsahin ay wala.

Wala na pala akong briefs.

Katulong ang kasambahay ay naghanap kami ng pakalat-kalat na underwear. Siyempre yung malinis at sa akin. Pero ang mga nakita  namin ay sa brother-in-law ko na. Badtrip, hindi ko naman puwede hiramin. Kaya walang rekla-reklamo ay nagsuot ako ng short pants at tumuloy sa aking lakad.

First time ko mag-commando sa labas.



Looking at may garment complement ay talagang magkukulang ako sa damit. Bukod sa pitong beses akong nasa labas ng bahay ay tuloy ang pamimigay ko ng mga pinaglumaan tuwing magkakaroon ako ng overhaul ng kuwarto. Nandun rin na nakaasa ako sa bigay ng iba sa halip na bumili ng sarili kong masusuot.  Hindi mo rin ako masisisi kasi nakasanayan na.

Sa loob ng mahabang panahon ay mom ko ang bumibili ng briefs sa akin. Wala naman akong reklamo dahil ako naman ang nakalibre. Pero nag-iba na ang panahon. Ngayong sa apo na napupunta ang pera niya, saka ko  narerealize na ang mga bagay na hindi ko pinapansin noon ang siyang kailangang kailangan ko ngayon.

Matapos makipagkuwentuhan kay Pilyo (na mabuti na lang at hindi naging detalyado sa mga adventures niya sa Bangkok)  ay dumiretso ako ng Isetann Recto para maghanap ng underwear.  Hindi na bale na galante ako sa ibang bagay, pero kapag sinumpong talaga ng kakuriputan, kahit Quiapo ay susuyurin ko makatipid lang sa sarili.

Mabuti na lang at walang department store ang Isetann.  Sunod kong naisip ang SM Carriedo na tambakan ng mga overruns galing sa ibang SM.  Timing naman ang dating ko kasi sale sila.  At kapag sale ang usapan, nawawala ang allergy ko sa mga malls.

So pili.. pili.. pili.. pili.. ako ng pili, pero ako talaga ang choosy. Nakakita nga ako ng tatlong pirasong bikini briefs ng SM Executive worth P120 pesos pero hindi ako na-convince.  Meron pa silang lima sa isang set for less than P200 pero tagilid pa rin ang aking final answer. Sa loob-loob ko, di bale ng cheap, wala naman makakapansin. Ang kaso, ayaw ko talagang tantanan ang men's underwear section hanggang may makita akong trip.

Hindi nagtagal at nagsawa rin ako kakapili. Naubusan na rin kasi ako ng choices dahil yung iba ay sobra na sa budget. Subalit bago tuluyang umalis ay may na spot akong kaaya-aya. Una kong napansin ang brand. Baleno. Malaki ang print, tipong may makakapansin kapag naisipan kong mag-low waist  at maikling T-shirt.

"Ayos to," sabi ko sa sarili.

Sa kabila ng piping protesta ng ibang saleslady na nakausap ko (yung mga unang nag-offer sa akin ng mas mamahaling brief) ay nakapili rin ako ng underwear. Dali-dali akong pumila sa cashier at ginamit ang SM Advantage para panggastos sa aking mga binili.

Well I guess it's the name I fell in love with, as well as the decent packaging.  At least I won't be wearing bikini briefs from hell the whole week.  And for P110 pesos a set, I got myself a sound bargain.

Not bad for a first time.

FEATURE: vogue Italia

Visit Vogue.it's website to read my beautifully written write-up this month. I am so honored! Thank you to Claire for thinking me worthy enough to feature.

http://www.vogue.it/en/vogue-black/the-black-blog/2011/07/azede-jean-pierre-

Also, it would really make me happy if you guys would follow me and like this post on bloglovin; if your not yet a member (its a great site) sing up here. 

Bishop Pajero

After all things are said and done, the hard part is asking oneself, where do we anchor our faith now?


HER EXCELLENCY GLORIA MACAPAGAL-ARROYO
President, Republic of the Philippines
Malacañang Palace
Manila


Dear Madam President,


I will be celebrating my 66th birthday on March 8, 2009.

I know this will be a precious day and timely occasion to thank the Lord for giving me another year.

After a prayerful discernment and due considerations to the existing crisis phenomenon today.

I have decided not to hold a birthday party.

Instead, I prefer to make use of my birthday as a day with and for myself, and with God.  Having been declared, awarded and honored from your good office as ‘Peace Champion of Caraga’.  I am grateful to God that He has made me an instrument of His peace, especially here in Mindanao.

I know I can do more to promote and work for peace.

It is in this view that I am asking a favor from your Excellency.

At present, I really need a brand-new car, possibly a 4 x 4, which I can use to reach the far-flung areas of Caraga.

I hope you will never fail to give a brand new car which would serve as your birthday gift to me.

For your information, I have with me a 7-year-old car which is not anymore in good running condition.

Therefore, this needs to be replaced very soon.

I am anticipating your favorable response on this regard.

Thank you very much.

Be assured of my constant support and sincerest prayers to your Excellency.

God bless you.


Sincerely,

Most Rev. Juan De Dios Pueblos, D.D.
Bishop of Butuan
P.O. Box 54, 8600 Butuan City



Had it been a flatbed truck - to deliver relief goods and equipment in the flood-prone areas of Butuan.


Or a school, to educate the children of the far-flung villages of Caraga.


Or at least a dozen clinics that will be run by the church, to heal not only the spirit but also the body,


Then it wouldn't be as shameful as this. But for one's personal gains?


Indeed, Mr. Pueblos, you made us realize that even  men in robes are corruptible.